Sudden realizations (I'll write more later)

Today I woke up suddenly at around 3 in the morning. My hand was burning so much. Left hand. And I turned on the torchlight in my mobile to see what had happened. I saw green nerves. I anticipated i got mom's nerve pain disease (varicose vein) as well. I tried to ignore and sleep. I couldn't. I woke up at around 4 and ran to knock my parent's room, I wined sadly saying something happened and my hand hurts.

They immediately reacted so alerted and concerned and I felt soo nice. Living alone had made me so repulsive of these feelings but turns out now I need people around me. I need someone to hold me, be close to me listen to me and be concerned about me and my wellbeing. I want this feeling. Yes I want to be independent but not without this sense of belonging. I want to be belonged.

I am dropping my tears as I'm writing this. I didn't know I was this lonely that small gesture that was natural from my parents would make me feel this way. I had place to run to and tell this happened and this I think is the first time I had told them immediately without being concerned they might be tensed or so. I don't know how to explain this rn. But I might need more reflection on this.

At this period of my life, I need to feel loved and supported, otherwise I don't know what will happen to me. I don't want to deal with the other side yet. I want to have these pillar kinda feelings by my side so that I can deal with the other side strongly. I can be a strong independent woman later, but first I need to be loved, I need people and the sense of belonging utmost. I really do. Wow I didn't realize this. Ughhhhh!

Does my eyes say otherwise? Pls tell me no.